The phrase: ‘take responsibility’ echoed through my childhood. Responsibility in our house meant doing your chores. It meant turning off the TV. It meant not complaining. In retrospect, I am impressed and grateful that my parents ‘harped’ on this significant statement.

And yet, I think none of us in the household understood what it means be fully responsible.

Standing in the bow of a small ferry, I saw something move in the water. Perhaps it was a whale?! I had seen whales on my ferry trips before. Perhaps today it would happen again! I began eagerly looking around as closely and thoroughly as I could, trying to see a whale.

It was a gorgeous day in July 2008. My friend Sandy and I decided to enjoy the warm, sunny day outside on the second floor communal balcony of my apartment building. When we closed the door, it unexpectedly locked behind us. We were trapped. We called for help but no one heard us.

Talking in gibberish may sound crazy, but what is truly crazy is making our lives hard by staying divided and in conflict for no good reason.

We all play roles in each others' lives. The roles of father and daughter are big ones. But beyond these roles, what we really are is fellow travellers on the journey through this life. The roles of father and daughter can carry the weight of expectation and attachment. But as fellow travellers,we can find a lightness and freedom.

And THEN, I realized, wait a minute, I see what’s happening here! I am looking for myself in these thoughts! WOAH. In that moment, I saw it, so clearly. I am not going to find myself in any of these thoughts. I am not these thoughts! I am the one who witnesses these thoughts. I AM NOT MY THOUGHTS. In that moment, my thoughts stopped, and I experienced the centre of my being.

The other day, my partner Matt had a headache. Wanting to help him, I said let’s look in to your headache to see what thoughts and feelings are connected with the headache. He seemed a bit irritated at this suggestion and said, “I just think it’s only physical.” The implication of what he said was that if something has a physical cause, processing thoughts and feelings would not be relevant to healing the pain.